Injured brother

It was Ana, Pedro. It was Ana. It was Ana, my hunger. Ana my infirmity. It was Ana my madness. It was her my breath. It was her my blade. She was my chill, my blow, my siege. It was me, injured brother. It was me, exasperated brother. It was me, brother with virulent smell. It was me, who had on the skin the spittle of many snails, the Devil's spoiled drivel. Bring me it at once, Pedro. Bring me at once the basin where we took bath as children, the tepid water, the gray soap, the rough bush, the white and fluffy towel. Wrap me up in it. Wrap me up in your arms. Dry my overturned hair. Let flow off tenderness, your soft hand on my nape. It's up to you, Pedro. To you. Who opened first the mother. To you pledged by holiness of being the first-born brother. It was Ana. It was Ana.

(...)

I saw my brother covering his face with his hands. It was sure he groped searching for a staff. He searched, certainly, for solid and hard soil. I could even hear his groan screaming for help. But looking at his posture deeply sudden and quiet, it was my father. It also happened to me that it could be a patience exercise in which he hid himself, consulting in the darkness the elders' texts, the noble and ancestral page. But in the flow of my intrigue it didn't count his pain mixed-up with the respect for letter of ancient. I had to scream in furor that my madness was wiser then the knowledge of the father. That my infirmity was in more conformity than the health of the family. My medicine were never written in any compendium. But there was another medicine, mine. And outside me I could not acknowledge any science. It was all a matter of perspective. And mine and only my way of seeing was valuable. It was a refinement of satiated, to test the virtue of patience with the hunger of third parts. And to say all this in a verbal access, turning the sermon's table on a eloquence, destroying fetters, latches and hawsers, rising a new balance and laying forces, rising always in highness. Stretching over all my clandestine muscles, rediscovering, with no delay, inside me the animal, scalp, jaw, and spurs, leaving the oiled tallow cover my sculpture while rode making my horsehair fly like feather, kneading with mine sagittarian paw the soft womb of this world, consuming in this pasture a grain of wheat and a fat slice of rage soaked in wine. I, the epileptic, the possessed, the taken. I, the starving, rolling in my confused speech the soul and the flame, a Veronica's cloth and a sneeze duded to such mud. Mixing in this soup of this flux the salty name of my sister, the perverted name of Ana. What dread. Other Suns. What anguish.

(Lavoura Arcaica, Raduan Nassar)
translated by LEo